How do you live so completely in the moment??

How do you live so completely in the moment? I think about death all the time. It’s like some unpleasant phone call I don’t want to make. I know I can’t avoid it. It’s coming whether I like it or not but I don’t want to do it. I don’t even feel like I’m really living yet. I don’t know what life is all about. I can already see the end of this thing that I haven’t got a handle on yet. Should I “rage against the dying of the light”? How can I when it hasn’t even shone for me yet?

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